Next Christmas I'll ask Santa for a little tolerance

Today I went to my outdoor gym class. I call it gym class because calling it by its proper name, "Power Sculpt Outdoor Series," makes me sound like a douchebag. And there is enough douchebag behaviour in the class to go around.

The class is made up of 90% hard workers of varying levels of fitness and two cunts. I use the word cunt because it neatly defines the sum total of their existence. I won't lie and say that i'm working out to attain some altruistic sense of self. I want to look good! But during that hour of grunting and lifting and sweating and cursing, i'm trying to lift more, run faster and hold that plank a little longer. Nothing makes a person want to quit and nosedive into a vat of ice cream more than having to listen to two rocks-for-brains twits talk about meeting guys in A SUPER LOUD VOICE.

These two ladies come to class every week. One is a 6 foot waif and the other is her ugly friend. The first time the waif came to class, she wore stripped knee socks and a hunch back. They come and bitch about the exercises and then half-ass the routine while shouting shit like:

"Hey remember that guy that we met at the bar...he was really into me, right? He kept following me around and stuff."

Not to be outdone, the other responds , "Oh yea, fun night. My guy was really fun, but I totally forgot his number."

If by "really fun," she meant "slipped me a roofie" and by "forgot his number" she meant "woke up in a dumpster," then that I can understand. Just the use of the phrase 'my guy' is reason enough for a donkey punch.

You might be thinking, "Why eavesdrop on these Heathers?" Is it eavesdropping when you can hear them from 10 feet away on a windy morning? Is it eavesdropping when you exasperatedly exhale only to find the person next to you nodding in agreement?

Why is it that the dumber you are, the louder you speak in public?

It makes me want to jump in the time machine back to 1985 and find the two inbred retards who gave birth to these two, who were, no doubt, conceived in the back alley behind Luv Affair, and ask them for the sake of humanity in the new millenium, USE A CONDOM!